It seems like you still believe it's the "Truth". you need to start reading up and getting that straigheted out. Once you know what is the truth, you wont worry about anything elders think or say. Why let them mess with your life. Move on, dont worry and dont have guilt when you realize they AREN"T a religion, they DONT have the truth, and they're a MINDCONTROLLING CULT.
Then you can stop playing into what they want.
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